BUMMER...
           

                    I'm 26 years old and I feel like my best days are already behind me. It's sad I know but I'm not looking for sympathy it's just how i feel. I feel like everybody's life is getting better and better and i'm here alone in my room typing away my feelings like some idiot. My life right now for me is getting nowhere i'm stuck and i don't know what to do. It's like when i try something, when i start something I always get to that point of giving up because i start to realize that there is no utter point in going further, I do work hard, I study hard, I give my best towards any work given to me but for me at the end of the day. It's all pointless. Like everything that I do has no meaning. I feel like I haven't achieved anything important in my life ever.

            I feel like getting left behind by all the people that I know even my friends and family which is kind of a bummer, I understand they have better things to do and there are more important things out there for them than little old me but I don't know maybe that's just me acting all mopey for no damn reason at all. I again am only 26 years old yeah some people are going to say that that's young but my contention towards that is that in my age right know even though i'm only 26 i do regret a lot of decisions that i have made in my life and that for me qualifies as a reason to say that yeah go on type your feelings away.

          I have plenty of heartaches, I put on a smile and a brave face in front of my friends and family but I am filled with envy and sadness when i see them, often crying alone in my bed thinking of all of those missed opportunities that i could've taken but did not. I can't remember the last time i felt joy or happiness towards anything in my life and i feel like i'm driving a lot of people away for reasons that I don't know. But it's not the end yet and I refuse to give up.

        Even though i feel like stagnating in some corner or even though i'm feeling kind of frustrated towards myself. I will still try because maybe this will all be better someday. Maybe I'm not just seeing the bigger picture here. Maybe there is a divine plan for me, a mission that i need to do that may help other people who feels like what i'm feeling right now.

 This is not over. 

Maybe someday I can explain it.

Maybe the bigger picture is out there waiting for me to see it.

Again...This is not over and I'm not giving up.